Xanthia's MS Life

My birthday is a week away and for the very first time I'm struggling to come to terms with my age. I'm not going to say what number it is but it's closer to 40 than it is to 30. Physically I know I don't look my age - I look younger damn it! But my memory is so unreliable and I don't know whether it's because I have several lesions in my brain holding up traffic or if it's just a "natural part of aging" - an expression which makes me feel oddly uncomfortable. I rely heavily on lists to get through life now. Without all my lists bills wouldn't get paid, errands wouldn't get run, chores wouldn't get started and of course I would wander aimlessly for hours in Target (no seriously, I would). So, when does the memory really start to go? I think I'll explore this topic more in depth this weekend...if I remember to.