Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Can Xanthia come out to play? 

Fatigue is an invisible symptom that I believe most people with MS suffer from. Even though it's so prevalent it's one of the most difficult to convey. I don't think that I adequately communicate the extent of my fatigue with the people around me. Language becomes tricky and empathy short coming. When I say "I'm tired" they might hear "I'm sleepy" or when I say "I'm wiped out" or "I just can't focus" they might think I just need to drink more coffee. Oh if only it were that simple!

My fatigue however constant is always evolving too. Since I stopped taking my anti-fatigue medication the days are becoming more unpredictable. It's hard for people who don't suffer constant up and down energy battles to roll with me. People make plans. They want to stick to those plans. They aren't sick so why the heck should they skip a movie and drive out to my place to hang out instead? See? No empathy.

The reason that it's so important to make myself understood is so that I can manage expectations placed on me. I'm not a flake if I say yes to an invitation to a party but then bow out at the last minute but my friends might think I am. If I don't make it clear that my fatigue is so bad that I cannot get out of bed let alone safely drive they might not understand. So, that is one of my main struggles right now. I'm trying to learn how to impart what I'm going through without alienating people. It's harder than it sounds.

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