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Thursday, August 18, 2005

Feelin Minnesota 

This gray rainy weather has me in a morbid funk. It doesn't help that I'm going to need surgery soon. I have severe endometriosis (another type of auto-immune disease) and it's invading my body like a cancer. It doesn't seem fair but there is no natural law that states; "You cannot have more than one incurable auto-immune disease at one time." So I have two. I've lived with them both for so long I can't even remember what it's like to be healthy and strong and energetic. I know pain and fatigue. I know them like sisters, you didn't choose them but you have to accept them anyway.

Writing about it helps me keep my thumb on the pulse of my feelings. It helps me stay centered. Someone once said to me that blogging is a self-indulgent activity. In many ways it is but at least there's room for feedback which you wouldn't get from a regular journal. It's important for me to be understood (I'm guessing most people feel that way) and I'm better at expressing myself in writing rather than verbally. So there.

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