Monday, May 16, 2005

Things I did during my spring break... 

- Valtrex, Vicoden, ointments, eye drops, tinctures, Darvocet, Advil, vanilla martinis, whiskey....

I read 'Infernal Affairs' and 'Little Green Men' until my eyesight failed. Then I conned a couple very dear friends into reading to me. After my vision returned I read 'Blood Sucking Fiends' and 'Practical Demonkeeping'. When my brain had turned to pure mush from Vicoden I turned to eye candy, perusing home decor and beading magazines (thanks Terrybear!) and when I could no longer focus on them I would languish in a floating haze just staring at the lilacs on the coffee table, Coco stationed on my lap, until I fell asleep. This went on for a full week.

Why? How could one girl be so lucky? Because I was enduring a living hell that I would not wish on anyone (well except my enemies and people who smoke around children) I had come down NOT with trigeminal neuralgia but with the shingles - ON MY FACE!!! The rash took a while to appear. My beautiful face, horribly disfigured, swollen eyes, leaky scabs, turning me into a stand in for Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby *after* she gets her face beat in. No exaggeration. My cornea was infected and I also had a general secondary infection that caused my skin to puff and turn an angry red. My eye closed up. If you've ever had puss ooze from one of your own eye's you will understand the horror. (and don't talk to me about "this one time when you were nine and you had pink eye". It's not the same)

At the docs office, adding insult to injury, they weighed me and then told me the number. I came in wearing wrinkled jeans and a sweatshirt with a stain on it. I think the nurse did it just to be spitefull. From my "good eye" I caught that twenty-something vapid twat smirking. After she left me alone to wait for the doctor I quietly cursed her and prayed that her next patient would puke on her shoes.

I don't have the patience to go into detail about what shingles is so google it you lazy bastards. But hey, at least the pain in my face wasn't MS related. To those of you who took such marvelous care of me (and you know who you are) thank you and I love you. I'm on the mend now and should see the last of the scabbing soon, although I still continue to have shock waves of pain through my face. (instert favorite explative here)

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